Motherhood is a crazy and huge journey most people don’t want to embark on alone. Being a mum comes with so many unfamiliar experiences that (usually) you want to share with someone who might have had a similar story, such as other mums. Unfortunately, making mum friends isn’t as easy some may think. Remember making friends as a child where all you had to do was play near and then play with another kid?
Going by my experience of making adult friends, I can definitely confirm, without a shadow of a doubt, that making adult friends is not that easy! I used to think it was just me being socially awkward. It turns out there are others who have had similar experiences. Making adult friends can be challenging enough. But throw hormones, barely any sleep, insane tiredness, and a general fall in overall confidence into the mix, making mum friends is a whole lot harder.
For some women, they are lucky enough to bond with another mum as they check in for antenatal visits or form friendships in prenatal classes. For others (such as me), it might be more difficult.
It’s quite normal to be nervous about approaching other mums for friendship, especially if the last time you socialised was at school or university.
You may find it hard to make mum friends because:
- You’re particularly shy or socially awkward
- You are very busy
- You are still recovering from labour
- You have kids and have no time
- You don’t think you need more friends
Whatever the reasons, there are a few important reasons you definitely need mum friends;
Mutual Understanding/ Similar Experiences
Sometimes, there’s nothing better than having another person/group of people who get you, and can relate to your experiences. For mums, especially new ones, the first experience can be overwhelming and tiring. Having a group of mums assuring and comforting you is literal bliss on days you feel tired, depressed, or just not yourself. Who else can you actually discuss the types of poos your respective babies have been doing with?!
Sharing Tips & Tricks
For new mums, motherhood is uncharted waters and can be pretty difficult to navigate. However, with the support of other mums, you can learn a trick for dealing with a specific situation. Plus, it’s super easy to just ask a question without batting an eyelid. I mean, who else can you laugh with about the 10 minutes sleep you had last night?
Helps With Proper Adult Interaction
If you’re a stay at home mum, going out to interact can be a bit difficult. With taking care of your kid(s), possibly managing an online business, etc., you might not have the time. Having mum friends makes hanging out and having fun in your own way much easier.
Helps With Loneliness
Having a baby is beautiful, but imagine having only friends who do not have kids. It’s so easy to feel left behind and lonely. Having a friend who has a kid will make you feel less alone, because you have someone who you can talk to without feeling strange. Obviously the conversation will be constantly interrupted with babies/kids needing attention, but it’s all good 😊.
All of these reasons mentioned above are important, however, it doesn’t take away the fact that some mums might not want to be friends with you. Fortunately, that’s okay; you shouldn’t be scared of rejection. It just means you haven’t found the right friend yet, and that’s not a problem either.
Perhaps, channel your energy on the positives. How do you break the ice with other mums? Consider trying one of the following lines;
- “Do you live in the area?” This is a great ice breaker if you meet a mum at the park and you are both sharing a bench. If you get a yes, get to know them more and invite them for a casual walk or a play date.
- Give compliments like “Wow, I love your dress/lipstick/nappy bag/shoes. Where did you get it?” This is a great way to strike a conversation.
- Ask for advice. Most mums are inclined to help with a situation, so you can ask about anything like how to achieve the perfect work/life balance, exercise, food choices for kids, etc.
Making mum friends can be difficult but having a few are so worthwhile! Have fun mammas.